Question:
I'm planning on becoming pregnant, but since my boyfriend was diagnosed with herpes I have become quite worried. I was diagnosed recently as being negative for the virus. How safe is it to have unprotected sex if he doesn't experience any breakouts?

Answer:
It's very dangerous for your baby to have unprotected sex during pregnancy if you don't have herpes but your partner does. In fact, some doctors would counsel against have sex at ALL in this situation! Even if your partner does not have outbreaks, the virus can still be spread by viral shedding (activity of the virus on skin cells of genital area).

If you acquire herpes during pregnancy, you're 25-50 percent more likely to pass this virus on the foetus than if you already had the virus previously. If the foetus does acquire the herpes virus, its survival rate plummets to about 40 percent. (see links for scientific sources for this info)

So as strange as it sounds strange, it's safer for the baby if you've already had herpes before the pregnancy.

If you'd like to get pregnant, then, it's absolutely essential for the survival of your baby, that you tell your doctor about your partner's herpes. He may test you again to make sure you don't already have the virus, he may recommend that your partner take a suppressive course of an antiviral such as valacyclovir, to lower the risk of transmission - and yes, he may recommend abstaining from sex during the entire pregnancy.

(based on original question from user Concerned Female)