this can't be happening to me
So, I just found out less than a month ago that I have herpes type 1. I feel like this could not be happening to me. It's not fair. I thought I would be the last person this would happend to. I just turned 20 and I feel like my life is just going down hill from here. There are days where I forget about it.. but when I take the medicine at night, that simple reminder makes my sadness kick in. I only been sexually active with one person and this is what happens. It's that one time that you don't use a condom. My partner didn't know he had it. He didn't have any signs or symptoms. I'm still with him but I'm afraid if I lose him, I will be alone for the rest of my life. I feel like my whole future that I saw for myself two months ago is all gone.
User login
Navigation
Syndicate
Comments
I think most of us feel that
I think most of us feel that way
Can doctors tell from any
Can doctors tell from any type of blood test if you have herpes.. i went i for a blood test.. not for herpes.. but too see if i had mono.. would they have been able to tell if i had herpes or not?
I know just how you feel I
I know just how you feel
I just found out today that i have GH, and I feel like my body is no longer mine. I am only 20 and although my fiance is being very kind to me, i cant help but feel like he is turned off by me in a way.
I have no idea how this happened, because both of us were tested beofre we slept together, and both our results were negative.
But even though I'm struggling to come to terms with it, i think its wonderful sites like this exist. I am normally a very proud stubborn person, but within hours of finding out, and breaking down, all i wanted to do was find a site where i could find other people with the same issue.
All is not lost, this is just a hurdle life had thrown at us. Who knows? Perhaps we can be the generation to make others even more aware of GH.
Best wishes.
T
Just wanted to say............
I Just wanted to say............
that here's my story and i don't know if it will help, but i can relate to how you feel and what you are going through.
that, and i really am feeling like i need to vent right now.
i got stranded in alaska and met this girl through a mutual friend, needless to say i hadn't been with anyone for almost 2 years and being in alaska in winter made me feel even more alone somehow. i guess it was an alien environment to me and all of my other friends and family lived in north carolina.
all my life i have been very proud of the fact that i am... was healthier than a weightlifting ox on muscle beach. i regularly got std tests and always used a condem.
This one night, i feel, changed my life forever. the three of us, me, my friend, and her chick friend( of which i am now and still with) were hanging out one day and and some wine got involved. so the three of us got into some coversation and the drinking continued as well. Needless to say our friend leaves us alone and the primal hormones of being drunk and horny kick in. she waits to tell me that she has GH just b4 we start to undress. which as far as i am concerned is just really messed up, but ultimatley it was my choice no matter how drunk and horny i was. I had a condem and we used it. sex was great and we kept seeing each other.
now i understand that the factors in which this relationship are most definitely the worst possible way of starting things, but that is my problem and i am dealing with it, so don't bash me plz.
i was a little worried about getting GH but i figured since we were using condems everytime we slept together i was reasonably safe. turns out, that isn't true. 1.) while having really great passionate sex or any kind of sex at all, these condems can and will break. which is exactly what happened to me. not only did it break, but
2.) i had an abrasion on the head of my penis from the laytex rubbing my skin from the night b4. and i didn't know that the condem broke until i got up after we were done and i went into the bathroom. when i saw that i almost damn near fainted. keep in mind i am a big guy and took pride in who i was. then all of a sudden my self-image went through the floor. i had lost all of whom i had thought i was. i felt stuck and still feel that way sometimes. i feel as if my romantic life is over if my GF and i ever break up. how and why would i ever let ne1 subject themselves to the possibility of being infected but such a bastard of a virus. yes i know it won't kill me or atleast it won't right now, but the pain i have endured from contracting this virus has made it very unlikely that i will ever have another realtionship after the one i am currently in. this isn't a decision i have made out of self pity as far as i can tell, but it wouldn't sruprise me if it has something to do with it. but my descision is that i cannot and will not allow myself to expose a woman in which i would like to share myself with to such a mentally hard way of life. yes i know it will be a lonely existance, but i am used to it and it is my existance to control. and i refuse to be someone that is perpetuating the spread of this virus. it is probably why i have endured what i have so far, being with the woman i am with. overall it is stable and i am not alone. sad isn't it? just goes to show how weak i really am. no matter how tuff a guy is on the outside they just as fragile if not more than a woman ever could be. just my opinion ofcourse. but now i have allowed myself to be reduced to a stay-at-home dad for her 2 kids and my child is at school. while she gets to advance her career and travel and get out of the house while we sit around and suffer due to her tyrranical grip on the finances, which in turn causes me to rebel and do things i normally wouldn't do. neways enough about that. basically u are not alone although i am pretty sure we all feel like we are. it bloody well frickin sux is what it does.
thanx for letting me vent and i hope you somehow feel better knowing that there are people out there that feel as you do.
with all my heart,
Cursed0681
why oh why did i do it?