i think i'm going to get dumped...because i was diagnosed with hsv2
i think i'm going to get dumped...
because i was just diagnosed with HSV2. He doesn't have it. We've know each other for a long time but just started seeing each other a few months ago. I got tested because he's had very few partners and we wanted to be sure I was safe. Well, I am, except for HSV2. Since we found out he's been sort of avoiding me, although when we are together he's very sweet. But I can't act like nothing is wrong...and I've sort of shut my heart off because I really like him and I think I'm going to get dumped. He doesn't want to risk getting HSV2 - he said he's not willing to do that to himself. And selfishly, I wish he liked me enough to risk it. On the other hand, I suggested we see a doctor to talk about our options and he didn't really respond. Also, he didn't really respond when I urged him to get tested. I feel like i'm in that movie "he's just not that into you" even tho I never saw it.....
sigh.I welcome any thoughts or advice.
well screw it, I'm determined to be
Happy Anyway.
- Herpes Doctor - Public Forums:
Keep Your Head Up
Happy,
I know how you are feeling. A few years back, I had a relationship with someone who I felt that I was very much in love with. We spent a lot of time together, getting to know each other without being intimate. I was terrified of telling her that I had HSV-2 because I feared that she would feel differently about me and disregard and chance of us being together.
When I eventually got up the courage to tell her, my worst fears were realized. She started acting completely different towards me and I knew almost immediately that her view of me had changed. It absolutely broke my heart and put me in a place where I wasn't really sure who I was anymore. Part of me felt like it was all some cruel joke to let me know that I was never going to find anyone. After a while, though, that feeling faded, and I started to remember all the things about myself that make this virus so immensely unimportant. It was her loss and while I had a lot of resentment at the time, I understand why she reacted the way that she did. Begging and sustaining a serious relationship can be difficult under the best of circumstances. Adding an STD into the equation is just too much for many people to undertake and that's a decision that you or I may not like, and may even find unfair, but it is one that we have to accept.
It sounds like you have the right attitude in trying to stay positive and that's very commendable. Keep moving forward and you will undoubtedly find someone who will accept you for who you are.
Best of luck...
Matt
have to comment on your post...
I was recently diagnosed with HSV 2 and wow the emotions I have experienced have been overwhelming...i fear that no one is going to accept me for this! ive never been married and ugh i want to someday but im terrified that maybe now that part of my life will never be fulfilled...
your post was awesome...made me realize how im not alone in this world and im not the only one thinking the way i have...maybe not the exact same thoughts but the fear you develop once your faced with this STD...
Good Filter
Since diagnosis, I have experienced both attitudes. One of the first guys I told was young as can be and fabulous and I should have never even gone there with him because I should have known he'd trip. and he did. He was very sweet and said nothing negative to me but he sure wasn't interested in having sex. He was all about pleasing me sexually with his hand and he would be obviously turned on but wouldn't have sex and pretty soon we stopped seeing each other. I am willing to bet now that he's about five years older and realizes the total crapshoot is out there in the world of sex, that he would be more than willing to take a little risk.
Basically, if someone is scared of you because you are one of the people who is actually diagnosed and tell them, then they are probably too young or inexperienced to realize they have probably already exposed themselves with someone else already. They will get it eventually. I've even heard that story from several people, that they ran from soemone when they were younger because of herpes bu they wouldn't today.
how about this one .... I
how about this one .... I was diagnosed with HSV-1 .... I had been with my b/f for 2 years and suddenly had an outbreak. Although it's possible I may have gotten it from a previous partner, it's also possible I got it from him through oral because he had several cold sores while we were together. He dumped me the day after I told him about it. I now have the feeling that I won't find anyone who wants me. My doc said if he feels that way, then he's not worth it. HSV is very common - she said it's called the disease of the 21st century. That didn't make me feel any better. I'm still in alot of pain because I thought he was "the one" and that we'd grow old together. Heartsick.
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