herpes

I WAS ORALALY RAPED AS A CHILD AND IT NEVER WENT FURTHER THAN THAT BECAUSE OF BEING CAUGHT THE PERSON BEING CAUGHT. I HAD ONE MINOR BREAKOUT AND THEN A SINGLE BOIL LIKE PIMPLE PIMPLE A FEW TIMES AFTER MY HUSBAND AND I WERE MARRIED. MY HUSBAND GETS FEVER/COLD SORES ON HIS MOUTH SEVERAL TIMES A YEARS. I HAVE NOT HAD ANYTHING SHOW UP FOR OVER 20 YEARS. CAN THE VIRUS LAY DOEMANT IN YOU SYSTEM THAT LONG? WE HAVE BEEN HAVING ORAL SEX I HAVE NEVER TOLD MY HUSBAND OF THIS RAPE AND AM CONCERNED BECAUSE I MAY BE HAVING AN OUTBREAK. HE ,TO MY KNOWLEDGE, HAS NOT HAD A PENILE OUTBREAK. IS ALL THIS POSSIBLE?

Wow, sorry to hear that

And sorry to see no one appears to have responded - perhaps they did privately...? Anyway:

Yes, the virus can lay dormant in your system your entire life.

No, there's no reason to tell your husband about the rape if you don't want to. It's clear that you believe that the oral herpes you have is a result of that rape, though it is not clear why you believe that. Most of us get oral herpes (cold sores) as babies or small children from relatives kissing us so there's no reason for your husband to believe otherwise.

Yes, you can give him genital herpes, even if you never got an outbreak orally (you carried the virus for 20 years with no symptoms but could still have passed the virus to others in that time period), just as he can give it to you by oral sex, since he has cold sores. It is up to the two of you to decide how safe you want to be. NEVER perform oral sex if you have an outbreak or feel tingling or pain that makes you think you're about to get one. Same goes for your husband performing oral sex on you. Beyond that, if you want to be 100% sure, you really have to use condoms and dental dams for oral sex.